Lab day again.....

So I got the news yesterday when his biopsy is and it hit me. My emotions truly are a roller coaster. Just when I think I can handle it- BAM- it hits me. They told me yesterday Gianfranco would need to get blood work done again before the surgery. We have had to increase his med as it was wearing off and not working anymore. It seems to be back to "normal" now. So the last time we went to the lab I gave Franco a heads up when we left the house that we were going to get bloodwork done....and he cried the whole way there. After that day he told me he didn't want me to tell him when we were going next time. So with that in mind, I told him this morning we needed to run an errand. Before I turned onto the street to the hospital I looked at him in my rear view mirror and said, "Franco, you have to get blood drawn". I will never forget the look on his face. The fear in his eyes. Of course he started screaming....so then I started promising him of the cool things we would do once we were done....but only for good behavior. Bless his heart...he tries so hard to be brave but is overcome by his fear. Luckily, the lady we got last time that was very compassionate was there again. She came out to the lobby to get us and of course Gio and Franco were both crying at this point. She took Gianfranco and held him in her arms and tried the best she could to calm him. As I sat in the chair with him trying to keep his mind off it all by counting. He screamed, "You guys are killing me. You are ruining my life". At that point I couldn't continue to count...the tears just flowed down my face- a huge lump in my throat. All I could think was...My God, what is going through his head? We are so careful about what is said in front of him...where does he get this stuff? This must TRULY be what he thinks. A few hours passed and we met Daddy at our favorite pizza joint- Home Slice. On the way there I asked him if he wanted to talk about what happened today and what he was thinking while he was getting his blood drawn. I asked if he knew that Mommy and Daddy don't want to have to take him to the Dr's but have to in order to make him better. Of course to him, he doesn't feel sick....so why do we have to go? He said he was talking about the doctor's when he said they were killing him. I can't tell you the heartache as a parent when your child doesn't understand what you are doing for them is for their own good, especially when it is hurting them.

I pray all day everyday....that is what gets me through. I pray for the doctors and nurses that will be with Gianfranco next week. I pray for a steady hand for the Dr. and please, please, please, don't mess it up.....the risks they had to tell us about are truly frightening. I pray that this "thing" is inflammation from a viral infection and will run its course. I pray there will not be further damage to my baby's body and spirit. I pray that he will have a speedy recovery. I pray that he knows, truly, deeply knows that his Daddy and I love him more than we could ever express. Our hearts beat for him and Giovanni and if given the chance we would take away all his pain and make it our own. I pray he stays strong....if he has to get mad...then so be it....I don't want this to beat him down. Stay strong Franco.....you are a truly amazing child of God with a heart of gold and a sense of humor like no other. Thank you for always making me laugh. Mommy and Daddy will be your strength when you are weak. We are so sorry this is happening but everyone has to go through tough times. What matters is how you get through it. We will be by your side always! Lets get this over with so we can go to the beach this summer.

All our love,
Mommy and Daddy and your biggest fan- Gio