a dose of reality......

Can't believe it has already been 3 weeks since my last post!?! A lot has happened. So, Gianfranco got his MRI under general at the hospital. He did great. The oncologist called and said the tumor showed great signs of shrinking. He said another MRI in 3 months is next. So, he will have another one at the end of October...on my Grandpa's b-day actually. Oh how I miss my Grandparents. Today has been a year since my Grandpa passed! Again, I don't know where the time has gone. :( My Grandfather was such an inspiration as to how one should devote their life to God and live in a way that is pleasing to Him. I hope he is smiling down from above.

Last night, I was so happy when I got home I learned that Gianfranco didn't shed a tear at his treatment!!!! This is the FIRST time that has happened. Shortly after, I found out a little girl we met that was diagnosed with LCH had passed earlier in the day. I was heartbroken. That was my first dose of reality. My heart ached for her family and rejoiced for her...she suffered way too long. RIP little one. I never dreamed I would ever attend a child's funeral. However, it isn't about me. No matter how hard it will be for me, I will gladly be there to support Haley's family. I know that being surrounded by love is the best medicine when your heart is breaking. When I was at my lowest, I was surrounded by many who loved us; and it helped. Even if they didn't say anything; their presence helped. Absence is the worst thing someone can do for someone who needs support. So, on Saturday my friend Blanca and I will go there to support Haley's family. Proudly wearing pink (Haley's fav. color). We will celebrate her new life and rejoice in how she brought so many to Christ.

Another dose of reality hit me tonight as Mario, Gianfranco, and I were walking thru the DSE school parking lot holding hands and he looks at me and says, "Here we are hunny. Can't believe this time has come." WOW....I got a lump in my throat. I hadn't had the time to sit and think about it that way. I've been too busy with all the "other" things going on. There is never time to be in the present. But at that moment, I took in the surroundings, and engraved the mental image in my heart. As a part of me is sad, most of me is joyous and celebrating this HUGE milestone for Gianfranco. Again, its not about me. This is awesome that we and he have been blessed to have made it this far. Every night my prayers are thanking God for another "healthy" day. Another day to make wonderful memories...not to be in the hospital fighting like so many we know are. We are so blessed.

Well, and the FINAL dose of reality for me was..... I've been planning how I was going to get Gianfranco to school without him taking the bus. There are several reasons why I didn't want him to ride the bus. And then it hit me. I NEVER asked Franco what he wanted!!! So I did. Much to my disliking he of course said he wanted to ride the bus. OHHHHHHH KAAAAAYYYY! I wasn't expecting that one. And at that moment I asked myself why I didn't like his choice? I can remember as a kid that was ALL I wanted; to ride the bus! My Grandparent's used to get a kick out of how excited I was to be able to ride the bus. And it was then that I realized all my fears of Gianfranco taking the bus were MY fears; not his. I'm NOT in control; GOD is. So, I will pray about the bus situation and ask for peace with it all. I don't want Gianfranco to have adult worries....there will be plenty of time for that. I want him to enjoy his childhood without all the worries of this horrible world and enjoy being a kid. We aren't promised tomorrow; so lets live like it is our last.

Disclaimer- I never said I wouldn't be following the bus alllll the way to school! ;) Luckily, my boss shuts the office down the first week of school. You best believe Gio and I will be hopping in the car as soon as Franco is on the bus and following it. Oh yes, I have no shame.

So, I would like to end this post with a wise quote my cousin told me. "If you have one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, you are "pissin" on today. hahahha.....love it. That is what I will continue to do...LIVE FOR TODAY!

Love to all.
m2g2